#12 The Biggest Lesson 9 Years in the Military Taught Me (It’s Not What You Think)
“You don’t need to be a machine. You need to be a human who feels.”
Awareness – The Hidden Cost of Doing Everything Right
I joined the military at 18.
Not because I felt a deep patriotic calling.
But because I was chasing something solid.
Structure. Strength. Certainty. A life that made sense.
My father served. My grandad too. The blueprint was there.
And when I heard the RAF PTI role meant being a full-time athlete…
I was sold.
But I wasn’t chasing purpose.
I was running from stillness.
Discipline Was My Armor—Until It Became My Prison
From day one, I became “the machine.”
Kit laid out the night before
Boots polished like glass
Cold plunges at 1°C—even after a long day at 10pm
Never missed a rep
Never missed a meal
Never let up
People praised it.
They admired my work ethic. My physique. My “standard.”
But behind the uniform and structure…
I was tense. Robotic. Emotionally disconnected. Numb
I wasn’t feeling life. I was performing it.
The world clapped for the shell. But I was starving inside.
The Quiet Collapse
The cracks didn’t come loud.
They came in the quiet.
A moment of stillness on my nan’s sofa
A green tea with no agenda or judgement
A breath that didn’t need to prove anything
That was the first time I realized:
The only place I could exhale… was in the presence of someone who didn’t need me to perform or thought something was wrong when I slowed down
But I didn’t listen.
I kept chasing perfection.
Kept building the body.
Kept running from myself.
Because deep down…
I was still trying to prove something to people who stopped watching years ago.
Rigidity ≠ Strength — I Wasn’t a Man. I Was a Machine.
Machines don’t feel.
They function.
They output.
They repeat.
Until they break.
Mine broke slowly:
Injuries
Fatigue
Burnout
A draining relationship
A routine that numbed me out
I wasn’t evolving.
I was escaping.
I had mistaken consistency for connection.
And I was spiritually starving.
Dubai Was the Disruption
When I left the military and moved to Dubai, the pattern broke.
No more base.
No more rank.
No more uniform to hide behind.
Just me.
And the realization:
I didn’t know who I was—without the structure.
WHOOP Gave Me the Data My Ego Ignored
I had tracked before—Garmin, spreadsheets, logs.
But WHOOP revealed what I couldn’t hide:
I was sleeping, but not recovering
I was training, but not adapting
I was “disciplined,” but not aligned
WHOOP didn’t tell me to stop.
It told me to listen.
It helped me stop punishing my body—and start partnering with it.
And today?
My WHOOP age is 9.8 years younger than my biological age.
Not because I train harder.
Because I live softer. Smarter. In sync.
👉 Get WHOOP with a discount here
Action – From Force to Flow
I still train.
I still love movement.
But now, I don’t train to escape.
I train to connect.
To feel my body.
To build a vehicle for my soul—not a cage for my emotions.
I eat meals without guilt.
I rest without shame.
I enjoy life without needing to earn it first.
That’s not weakness.
That’s wisdom.
Alignment – Awareness. Action. Alignment.
This is The Uncommon Life:
Awareness – Noticing when your body’s whispering “slow down”
Action – Moving from intention, not insecurity
Alignment – Knowing when to shift, pivot, pause, or play
I call it flexible discipline.
Not soft. Not lazy.
Disciplined—but with a heartbeat.
Driven—but with soul.
To The One Still Grinding…
If you’re reading this with tight shoulders…
If your jaw is clenched and your calendar is full…
If you’ve built the body, but still feel unfulfilled—
Let me say this clearly:
You’re not weak.
You’re just disconnected.
And your body is trying to wake you up.
You don’t grow when you train.
You grow when you recover.
You don’t win through endless output.
You win by learning to feel again.
“A machine may be productive.
But only a human can heal.”
Start Here. Start Small. Start Today.
Ask yourself:
When was the last time I did something just for joy?
When was the last time I rested without guilt?
When was the last time I felt like myself?
If it’s been a while…
You’re not broken.
You’re just overdue for presence.
Mini Ritual for the Week: Nervous System Reset
Here’s your first step back to you:
3-Minute Stillness Check-In
Sit in silence
Breathe through your nose
Ask: What does my body need today?
Listen without judgment
Adjust accordingly
Start tracking your nervous system with WHOOP
Start rebuilding your identity from alignment—not pressure.
I have something for you to try when your ready..
📩 Ready to Go Deeper?
If this hit home—if you’re done living like a machine and ready to reclaim your humanity—here’s how we start:
➡️ Apply for 1:1 Coaching — for those ready to live fully, not just perform well
➡️ Join The Uncommon Life Membership — build the habits, mindset, and body your future self will thank you for
Share This With the Human Who Needs It
The one still grinding.
Still holding it together.
Still running—because slowing down feels too vulnerable.
Let them know:
There’s a better way.
The Uncommon Way.
