#15 Why you're never really here (and how to fix it)
Why You’re Never Really Here
Have you ever been in a conversation, nodded along, but realised later you barely heard a word?
That’s because you weren’t here. You were there.
And you’re not alone. Research shows that the average person’s mind wanders almost 47% of the time. Nearly half your life is slipping away because you’re not actually present for it.
No wonder so many ambitious people feel stuck, disconnected, or anxious. It’s not that you’re broken. It’s that you’re never really here.
The Military Cycle
When I served in the military, I lived for Fridays and dreaded Sundays. That cycle lasted for years.
I was wishing my life away, waiting for the next thing instead of being fully present in the one I was in.
I looked squared away on the outside — but inside, my mind was always wandering. I was physically in the room, but never truly engaged. Relationships suffered. My peace of mind suffered.
It’s why people fall in love with working out or jumping into an ice bath. For a moment, the intensity forces you into the now.
Ambition or Distraction?
When I left the military, I thought it would be different. But I carried the same pattern into civilian life.
Always chasing the next goal. The next win. The next achievement.
I told myself it was ambition, but really it was distraction.
Here’s the truth: you can’t fully enjoy where you are if your mind is always on what’s next. And that’s why most of my 20s flew by without true association.
The Signs You’re Never Really Here
I see the same pattern today in the ambitious people I coach:
Their body is in the meeting, but their mind is in the inbox.
Their body is at home, but their mind is still on work.
Their body is in the gym, but their mind is already on tomorrow.
They call it productivity. I call it distraction.
It’s like having 20 apps open on your phone and flicking between them all day. Eventually, the system overheats and crashes. That’s what’s happening inside their body and mind.
How to Anchor Back to the Present
So how do you actually come back “here”?
The truth is simple: practices like meditation, ice baths, breathwork, and training work because they force your attention into the present moment.
In the ice, you can’t think about tomorrow.
In breathwork, your awareness lands in your body.
In training, intensity shuts out the noise.
They’re not magic. They’re just anchors into the now.
When you realise this and understand that you don't NEED these tools to be free from thought, you can start using them as life additions not life addictions.
My Daily Anchors
Here are a few anchors I use every day to bring myself back to presence:
AM Ritual: Breathwork and mobility before I start the day.
PM Routine: Stretching and visualisation to close the loop.
8,000+ steps: Movement clears stagnant energy and resets my headspace.
Simple connection: Saying hello to people, sharing energy, and being with others.
None of these are hacks. They’re daily habits that make presence my foundation.
👉 Want to try them?
I've put together a free Uncommon Life Starter Pack playlist on YouTube with the exact tools I use to reset and anchor into the now.
The Uncommon Way Forward
This is also why I built the Uncommon 66.
Not to keep people chasing the next thing. Not to keep them living “there.” But to help them create a foundation where presence becomes automatic.
66 days. 6 habits. 1 new standard.
When you fuel your body, prime your mind, and anchor your day:
Flow stops being rare.
Anxiety stops being your baseline.
You stop wishing life away and start living it.
Because here’s the truth: if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
It’s time to stop racing toward “there” and finally learn to live here.
Live Uncommon
Presence isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation of a life that feels yours.
The future you want is built here, now — one daily habit at a time.
